I am good for something

I am so grateful for my friends. Heavenly Father puts in our lives the people that we need when we need them. I had the opportunity to see three of my very best friends—Justine Banks, Jacob Trotter, and Todd Corbett—this weekend for the first time in a very very very long time. I loved being able to see how they’ve grown, to feel of the power of their spirits. They are each remarkable and will always have a special place in my heart. I am reminded of Alma and the sons of Mosiah, when they run into each other. It’s the first time in 14 years that they’ve all been together. Of the experience it is written, “…Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God. But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting…” (Alma 17:2-3). I felt like Alma. I feel like Alma. My heart is full of gratitude so great I can hardly contain it. My friends have grown in their testimonies. They know Whose they are. They understand their purpose. They are disciples of Jesus Christ, now and for forever. I love them for it.
I learned something this last weekend. I learned the power of “I Am.” It was something I learned on my mission, but it hit home a little bit more. When Christ presented Himself, oftentimes He did so by saying that He was “I Am.” He knew Who He was, He understood it, and He applied it to everything He ever did. There is power in knowing who we each are. “I am good for something,” so why not find that something and run with it? Who are you? What makes you YOU? Are you a child of God? Do you know it? Are you a pianist, an intellectual, a temple attender, a peacemaker, a leader, a disciple of Jesus Christ? Who ARE you? It’s been a struggle the last week and a half. I realized the things I was doing didn’t have much meaning because I didn’t really understand what I was off to accomplish, I didn’t understand my purpose. My training wheels are off now. I’m riding solo. There is no more book that tells me what I am to do, how I am to manage my time. I didn’t want to wait for something like work or school to define my purpose. It needed be something within. That way, no matter what happens, I will always have it to guide me. After study and prayer and a bit of pondering, I came to the conclusion that I must continue to be an example of the believer and Father will use me as His instrument. I must do all that I do in order to build up the Kingdom of God on the earth—consecrate all of my time and talents to His work. So, I made myself a post-it and stuck it in my planner. It reads, “Did I help build up God’s Kingdom today? What can I do better tomorrow?” The best part is that I know Heavenly Father will use me. I know who I am in His eyes and therefore understand that I am good for many things. My life will be patterned after that knowledge.

As I was talking with Jacob the other day, I said something about making sure I would teach my children the importance of obedience, that it brings blessing and safety. He then turned to me and asked, “Kaity, how many people do you think you taught on your mission?” I thought for a second and said, “Well, I hope at least a couple” (I didn’t quite understand his point at first). He shared with me something he learned on his mission, and since that little talk, I’ve learned it too. He said mas o menos, “I learned that we do not actually teach anyone anything. Heavenly Father helps them to learn it when they’re ready.” It is so true! How many times have you heard people teach about the Atonement? You’ve heard what it is, but you never learned what it really meant until you experienced Its power for yourself. We each have experiences so that we can share them with others; but, Heavenly Father will help them learn those principles through their own experiences in His timing. And, not very often will it be in the self-same moment. We cannot be frustrated when others just don’t seem to “get it” even though you have told “it” to them a million and one times. They will understand not because of what you say, but because of their own encounters with the Spirit—He will teach them those lessons when they’re ready to learn them.

I learned about the importance of agency, of using that agency to make decisions. A friend bore his testimony today and just briefly mentioned something about making decisions. I wrote those two words down—“making decisions”—and decided I was going to go home and ponder it a little more. I learned that I don’t want to wait on other people and their decisions before I choose to be happy. It is important that we are who we know that we are, that we trust that everything will work out as it should, that we just “let go and let God” as another member put it in her testimony today. Opposition must needs be remembered when making decisions. There will be an opposition in all things. Opposition, however, isn’t always bad—it simply opposes. If my favorite color is blue, then my favorite color cannot be green. That doesn’t mean that it is bad for it to be green, the two just cannot be one. Decision making would not be decision making if there wasn’t an opposing choice to be made. It means taking a stand, it means acting. Heavenly Father trusts me to do that which is right; however, that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s always only ever one right decision to be made. Things get harder and significant growth can take place when we have to choose between many good things. It is in doing so that our faith grows.

I don’t know. I’m not sure if what I’m writing makes a whole lot of sense, but I hope you can get out of it what Father would have you learn. I love the Gospel with my whole heart. I am grateful for the lesson Heavenly Father teaches us each day if we will but listen.